The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.- Oscar Wilde

     I haven't really written one of my "Love letters/thank you letters" to anyone in a long time. I thought maybe I would write one that is long overdo.

    First, this one is finally being written because the fact that people sit here and are complaining of wanting jobs/needing jobs, it's driving me crazy. It's like when people started griping about not being able to leave the house... it was like "Join the club". If you want a job, if you need a job, LOOK AROUND. People are hiring everywhere. Go apply somewhere. If you need a job THAT BAD, go get one. If you really needed one that desperately, you would be applying for a season job at a Halloween shop or MacDonalds or something. 

    I can't work. I can't drive myself to a job right now. We still don't know if my brain is going to behave itself long enough for me to function for a job. I can't multitask well enough to get things done. It's upsetting, but it's the truth. 

    I miss my job. I LOVED my job at Naughty Oak. Steve and Emily Kitts were amazing. I had been working as a catering manager when the seizures hit and I had to give that up. And I was on a walk trying to think about all of that, deal with all of that and walking through Old Orcutt as their brewery was almost complete. Steve was outside. We started talking. 

    I told him about everything. I had recently seen him at some sort of event. He was pouring beer. I was serving snacks. And I thought I didn't like beer. He said I just didn't know how to like beer. I laughed and told him he was probably right because I thought I didn't like wine either and then I learned about it and it turned out I really did. He poured some of his beer for me and it was really good. So, after hearing about what had happened, and knowing I knew about his beer and that I was good at hospitality (since he had seen me at the event), he asked me to come in the next day to talk. I did. We talked about me working for him and being the event coordinator of sorts for the brewery. Going to the events. Helping book bands and food trucks. He knew I couldn't drive. He would help get me places. I accepted. It sounded so fun. Working with someone from high school and helping him open up a business! This sounds awesome. 

    As time went on, Steve and Em were just so amazing. Naughty Oak was so much fun. All of the events I went to were a blast. I loved my coworkers, I loved the musicians and bands, the food trucks, the regulars, the trivia nights, everything. It was just awesome. And they understood everything. Randy even started to work there a couple of nights a week. 

    One day I came in and a coworker said "What was that last night?" I looked at him, confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently I had a seizure and he had to call Randy to get me. But he thought a seizure would be dropping on the floor and shaking, not spacing out and being weird like that. I was worried he would be weird around me from then on, but nope. He just shook it off and acted like it had never happened. 

    Giving up my job because I had to get brain surgery and we were unaware of the recovery period was one of the saddest things for me. Whenever I put on my Naughty Oak hoodie or t-shirt (because yes, even out here in Indiana I still represent), I miss the Kitts even more. I make sure to stop into Naughty Oak anytime I am in town just hoping they will be there (they haven't been yet) so I can say hi to my Bossman and Bosslady. I don't think they will ever EVER understand how much I appreciate what they did for me. Having to give up my catering job because I couldn't drive, I thought was just awful but then being offered the job there- I learned so much and had so much fun. Steve and Emily are wonderful people and I am so proud of them. And I have yet to taste beer as good as theirs... not that I'm bias or anything. 

 

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find the answer is always bad- It's never: What is that? *sniff sniff* Muffins! -Demetri Marti

       Well... My first Olfactory aura was certainly interesting. I hope that NEVER happens again and I'm going to be paranoid for the rest of my life whenever I smell something bad. It doesn't help that Randy has a very poor sense of smell so when I say something about something smelling good or bad, he can't smell it. So, without someone else being in the room, I'm kind of screwed. 

    For those of you who saw the picture of me where it looked like I was in a bar fight and were wondering what the hell happened, here we go: 

    On March 1st, I had the first tonic clonic (or grand mal, whatever you know it as) seizure that I've had in six years. Typically, my seizures involve my spacing out for a minute, maybe spilling my coffee on myself or something and then its done. And then Seizure Katie comes out and she's a little insane (I think we should really revisit the possibility that Sybil just has seizure moments and then messed with people and named her "Seizure Sybil" according to what she was doing). Seizure Katie will try to strip on the back deck (Not really strip but think it's her bedroom and try to get into her pajamas out there, she will yell at Randy for absolutely no reason at all, she will snuggle Randy and think he's amazing (Because he is amazing), she will apparently be such a spaz that she can't get up the stairs from the basement as if she's drunk but then can get up the stairs to her room no problem just a few minutes later and I will have NO idea any of this ever happened.... It's just who knows.  SO- Seizure Katie... We never know what we are getting. 

    Tonic Clonic seizures: A type of seizure that involves a loss of consciousness and violent muscles contractions

    Focal Impaired Awareness: The person may look awake but they aren't able to respond fully, may be confused or not remember events. They are not fully unconscious.

    That's the difference between March 1st and my usual kind of seizures. That is a BIG difference. The Tonic Clonic is the kind you see in movies and on TV and the kind Quinn has almost punch kids for making fun of at school. 

    So on March 1st, I smelled something weird in the fridge- or I thought in the fridge- just in the kitchen. I couldn't figure it out. And I looked all over the kitchen. I wiped everything down. I was trying to clean everything and take care of it. I was going to make spaghetti that night so I needed a clean kitchen. I couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from. And I couldn't make the smell go away. I asked Randy if he could smell it, if he thought the milk was bad (even though it wasn't a bad milk smell) or if something else in the fridge went bad. I told him I took the trash out and I wiped stuff down and couldn't figure it out. He said the milk smelled fine and he didn't smell anything bad (even sticking his head in the fridge). 

    I started getting the spaghetti ready. I turned music on. I started chopping onion, I got garlic ready. I thought those smells would help me get rid of whatever the hell that stinky smell was that I could smell. And I was just focusing on those smells, and it was helping, but that smell was still there... And then I started getting the meat ready for the sauce. And the smell was stronger as I was prepping the sauce. 

    I sent a text to Randy who was down in the basement. I told him that I had the water boiling for the noodles but the sauce smells bad. I think maybe its the meat. And the meat is what smelled bad in the fridge and I didn't even realize it. Maybe he should come check when he has a minute and see if that's it. He said something about trusting my judgement (I think this is how the rest of the conversation played out, it DOES get fuzzy right here) but if I think the meat is bad, the meat is bad, and that's a bummer. We will just have to order dinner. 

    I had been getting the garlic bread ready. And then I was in an ambulance. 

    Now, one of the super awesome EMTs asked me what I was making and said it smelled really good. I was shocked to hear that and asked if he was serious because I thought it smelled disgusting and then realized what could have been happening. Randy and Quinn both said it smelled really good when my family met me at the hospital. And when I talked to my neurologist about what I had been experiencing all day, she said it was the aura. So, that's fun. 

    Randy and Quinn were both home while I was cooking. Randy, as I said, in the basement. Quinn was in her room. They both heard my fall. Both came running. Luckily I was at the center island just putting butter on some French bread, if I had fallen a minute earlier, I would have pulled the pot of water or saucepan onto myself. It took about a week to be able to open my mouth normally because my jaw was so sore. My bruises that you could see are gone but my face still hurts to touch in certain spots. They found me face down, beating my face against the kitchen floor. Randy got to me first, thankfully, and was able to just tell Quinn to call for an ambulance. With how covered in blood I was when I came to, I would hate to think if she found me first. 

    The firefighter/EMTs down the street, had to deal with Seizure Katie. And Oh My GOD the story I heard. Apparently, I was THROWING PUNCHES AT THEM. At one of them more than the others and actually made contact (I took them cookies yesterday to apologize for Seizure Katie's bitchy behavior and they said he deserves to be punched lol)  And when they were trying to take me to the ambulance, I kept telling them no, I couldn't go without my husband. They said Seizure Katie just practices stranger danger. Randy had to get me to go with them. Apparently I was creating quite the scene and probably gave them quite a fun story. But I  made them Snicker Doodles, so hey. That's something. 

    And from now on, for I think, ever, I'm going to be terrified whenever I smell something bad. I don't care if I am driving by a feed lot or something. If I smell something bad, I am going to worry. That is not something I am going to be able to get over.