Thursday, March 28, 2019
If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.-Edgar Allan Poe
My brain is funny. (Not really, it's full of holes and it sucks.) It likes to remember the dumbest things that I don't need to remember and forget things that I need.
"OH! We said we were going to have lunch today? I am sorry. Please don't stop being my friend. I swear I love you. My brain just sucks."
But I can probably tell you what color shirt I wore on some random Wednesday my sophomore year of high school.
Or when I try to FORGET things that I don't want to remember, they sit there, lodged in my head, which I know happens to everyone, but seriously, if I am going to have memory problems, they should be the ones that go, right?
Today is a weird day for me. It is the "anniversary" of my first surgery. For those of you just joining my story, here is the link to that:
https://katievsepilepsy.blogspot.com/2018/04/hope-is-last-thing-person-does-before.html
It is hard for me to talk about it and relive it so I try not to, but today, it's one of those things that just keeps on showing up. THANKS FACEBOOK!
One year ago today, I had a brain hemorrhage. And that was terrifying.
I have had three brain surgeries in one year. That is insane. I knew that they were close together, but it didn't sink in until today that it was three in one year. HOLY CRAP.
So here we are.
I am still recovering from #3. And I have had 3 seizures since the surgery, but they consider it OK because my brain is still healing so I don't need to worry yet and I need to just accept it as part of the healing.
This morning, my amazing husband (and I don't know if I give him enough shout outs in this blog because you guys, he's seriously my rock) brought up that it's been a year since my first surgery and said something about how far we have come. And my daughter said "Since the surgery where your brain bled?" And she hugged me so tight. And gave me a kiss on the cheek. And you guys, I always talk about cherishing your friends and how awesome mine are, but have I told you about my kids and how much I cherish them? Because they are the best. They are my reason for going into surgery three times. They are the reason I keep on doing this. They are my sweet little monkeys and when you feel a hug like that, you know it's worth it.
This blog entry hasn't been as cohesive as my others, and I am aware of that. I have been a bit overwhelmed with the "anniversary" and just had to get the thoughts out. I'm still fighting. And I'll keep fighting. And maybe one day, I will win.
Friday, March 8, 2019
“A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.”
I know I've been saying it a lot lately, but seriously, my friends are the best.
On January 23rd, I had my 3rd surgery.
On January 22nd, my friend, Steve, came up to Palo Alto to stay with us.
On January 23rd, when I woke up from the surgery, my friend, Chelsey, was there- from Alaska.
These two had arranged things in their lives so they could be there for me. (Not to mention the amount of finagling and attempted lying in took on my husbands part to surprise me with Chelsey.)
It was so amazing to have two of my best friends in the world there with me. My doctor said they would be my lucky charms. (But no pressure on them, right?)
Those two saw me right out of surgery... I don't know if you've ever seen a person after they wake up from brain surgery, but it's not a pretty thing to see. My face is swollen, I have wires everywhere. It's just... not the best. But when you've been friends with people since you were 15 and you are now... much older than that, it doesn't matter. And they were amazing. And it made me so happy to have them there. After the other two surgeries, they checked on me, sure. But actually having them there, getting real live hugs and everything, it was a totally different experience. It was so nice. It definitely boosted my spirits.
Everyone has been saying that the the doctor was right, those two would be my lucky charms... and "The third times the charm!" and "this time will be the one!" and I am so sick of having lasers in my head, so you know... They'd better be lucky. And I have actually had a few people ask me why I haven't updated my blog in a while, so here I am, updating.
On February 19th, I had a seizure. But I was told this is ok. This can happen during recovery as your brain gets used to everything and your body is trying to figure out what's going on. If you remember from my other surgeries, this happened then too, so I didn't worry too much about it. I have had a few auras, but nothing else.
On March 7th, I went for my first post-op MRI and follow up. I told the doctor about my seizure and the auras. He looked at the MRI. He heard what I had to say. And right now, we are going to go with a cautiously optimistic outlook. We are doing much better this time, than we were the other two times at this point in time. And that is GOLD TO ME. So I guess I did have a couple of lucky charms with me this third time around.
Friendship is amazing. And true friends are a blessing. I've said it a million times lately, but I truly mean it, cherish your friends. You never know when you'll need someone to cry with when your face is swollen and your head is bandaged.
On January 23rd, I had my 3rd surgery.
On January 22nd, my friend, Steve, came up to Palo Alto to stay with us.
On January 23rd, when I woke up from the surgery, my friend, Chelsey, was there- from Alaska.
These two had arranged things in their lives so they could be there for me. (Not to mention the amount of finagling and attempted lying in took on my husbands part to surprise me with Chelsey.)
It was so amazing to have two of my best friends in the world there with me. My doctor said they would be my lucky charms. (But no pressure on them, right?)
Those two saw me right out of surgery... I don't know if you've ever seen a person after they wake up from brain surgery, but it's not a pretty thing to see. My face is swollen, I have wires everywhere. It's just... not the best. But when you've been friends with people since you were 15 and you are now... much older than that, it doesn't matter. And they were amazing. And it made me so happy to have them there. After the other two surgeries, they checked on me, sure. But actually having them there, getting real live hugs and everything, it was a totally different experience. It was so nice. It definitely boosted my spirits.
Everyone has been saying that the the doctor was right, those two would be my lucky charms... and "The third times the charm!" and "this time will be the one!" and I am so sick of having lasers in my head, so you know... They'd better be lucky. And I have actually had a few people ask me why I haven't updated my blog in a while, so here I am, updating.
On February 19th, I had a seizure. But I was told this is ok. This can happen during recovery as your brain gets used to everything and your body is trying to figure out what's going on. If you remember from my other surgeries, this happened then too, so I didn't worry too much about it. I have had a few auras, but nothing else.
On March 7th, I went for my first post-op MRI and follow up. I told the doctor about my seizure and the auras. He looked at the MRI. He heard what I had to say. And right now, we are going to go with a cautiously optimistic outlook. We are doing much better this time, than we were the other two times at this point in time. And that is GOLD TO ME. So I guess I did have a couple of lucky charms with me this third time around.
Friendship is amazing. And true friends are a blessing. I've said it a million times lately, but I truly mean it, cherish your friends. You never know when you'll need someone to cry with when your face is swollen and your head is bandaged.
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