Certificate of Thinkology

Well... It happened. 

I had the surgery. Again. 

The morning went down the same as the last time. I arrived at 5 AM and checked in. I changed into the gown, I waited for my doctors as I got hooked up to the IVs and got prepared for the surgery. The doctors all took turns coming over and talking to me. They told me "We have done this before, so you know the routine. We are just waiting for the MRI and everything to get ready and we will take you down to the room."

The anesthesiologist finally came (around 730 AM) and he said instead of starting "The Juice" as he put it, and then wheeling me down the to MRI suite, he was going to wheel me down and then start the process of knocking me out once I was down there. So I actually got to meet a good part of the team this time. Not that I remember anyone- I know someone was named Jeff and someone was named Adam, but I can't tell you what anyone looked like. And I know there was a girl, and she gave me warm blankets.

Once they started "The Juice", my left arm started hurting. Normally, when I have had anesthesia in the past, I have felt a cold feeling, or a tingly feeling, but this HURT. A painful horrible, every muscle in my arm was being punched sort of pain, it was horrible. And I yelling at the anesthesiologist that my arm hurt, and he said he knew and I remembered being pissed off about it. And then yelling at him about that. And I believe I was just kind of angry and rude before I passed out. 

When I woke up in the recovery room, I immediately went to the last time I was in that situation. Last time, I was told the surgery had to be aborted because I hemorrhaged. So I wake up, I realize I am in the recovery room, so the surgery is over. My arm no longer hurts, but my head hurts, I'm cold, and I don't know if it was successful or not. I immediately start crying. From fear, from pain, from everything. I'm overwhelmed from everything. And crying is a normal reaction when waking up from surgery anyway, but it was all so much. The nurse came over with a warm blanket. She asked me if I was in pain, I said yes. And I said "Did it work?" And the poor thing was completely confused. She repeated "Did it work?" And I am mumbly and weird because I'm just waking up and I'm crying. And I said "Did it work? It didn't work last time. Last time I hemorrhaged and they didn't fix it. Did they fix it? Did it work?" And she said "Oh yes. Yes. It was a successful surgery." And I start to bawl. She asks my pain level. Which is not why I'm crying but hell yes, my pain is at a 10, I have holes in my head. And I continue to ask every nurse that walks by if the surgery worked. And I wasn't really satisfied with anyone's answer until I saw my family and my doctors. 

I was in and out of sleep. And I think I heard my dad's voice first. And I opened my eyes and I asked them "Did it work? Did they get it?" And my dad said "Look at the clock. I hope they got it." And it was 7something PM. I found out I was in surgery for 9+ hours. But the doctors think they got everything they needed to get. 

Once I was taken to my room, I noticed my right hand hurt like hell. There were some weird blisters on it, also one on my left knee. I have some weird pain on my left thigh and just a variety of bruises on my body. I had some last time too- not blisters, but bruises and sore spots. They weren't THIS bad, because the surgery wasn't this long, but I am not surprised to be sore in spots other than my head. You're basically swaddled like a baby and then secured to a table, and then flipped over so they can reach the back of your head... and I was like that for 9 hours. I think my hand and knee were against the buckles or something, so they ended up with blisters and the other sore spots are just from the restraints or something. 

I am finally at a point where I don't have to take pain killer every 3-4 hours, but I still have to take it a couple of times a day. The staples came out on July 9th. I go back for my post-op MRI and to see what my neurosurgeon has to say on July 26th. I still have pain... and I have had a few dizzy spells. And sneezing hurts my head more than anything. BUT 19 days since the surgery, 19 days seizure free. I think the Wizard came through on his promise and gave me a new brain.