If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.-Edgar Allan Poe

My brain is funny. (Not really, it's full of holes and it sucks.) It likes to remember the dumbest things that I don't need to remember and forget things that I need. 
"OH! We said we were going to have lunch today? I am sorry. Please don't stop being my friend. I swear I love you. My brain just sucks." 
But I can probably tell you what color shirt I wore on some random Wednesday my sophomore year of high school. 
Or when I try to FORGET things that I don't want to remember, they sit there, lodged in my head, which I know happens to everyone, but seriously, if I am going to have memory problems, they should be the ones that go, right? 

Today is a weird day for me. It is the "anniversary" of my first surgery. For those of you just joining my story, here is the link to that:

https://katievsepilepsy.blogspot.com/2018/04/hope-is-last-thing-person-does-before.html

It is hard for me to talk about it and relive it so I try not to, but today, it's one of those things that just keeps on showing up. THANKS FACEBOOK! 

One year ago today, I had a brain hemorrhage. And that was terrifying. 

I have had three brain surgeries in one year. That is insane. I knew that they were close together, but it didn't sink in until today that it was three in one year. HOLY CRAP. 

So here we are. 

I am still recovering from #3. And I have had 3 seizures since the surgery, but they consider it OK because my brain is still healing so I don't need to worry yet and I need to just accept it as part of the healing.

This morning, my amazing husband (and I don't know if I give him enough shout outs in this blog because you guys, he's seriously my rock) brought up that it's been a year since my first surgery and said something about how far we have come. And my daughter said "Since the surgery where your brain bled?" And she hugged me so tight. And gave me a kiss on the cheek. And you guys, I always talk about cherishing your friends and how awesome mine are, but have I told you about my kids and how much I cherish them? Because they are the best. They are my reason for going into surgery three times. They are the reason I keep on doing this. They are my sweet little monkeys and when you feel a hug like that, you know it's worth it. 

This blog entry hasn't been as cohesive as my others, and I am aware of that. I have been a bit overwhelmed with the "anniversary" and just had to get the thoughts out. I'm still fighting. And I'll keep fighting. And maybe one day, I will win.