I feel my brains, like a pear, to see if it's ripe; it will be exquisite by September.

     It's been a long time. And that quote speaks to me... Not the way Virginia Woolf intended it, I'm sure, but oh my goodness, does it speak to me in a literal way. You're supposed to give yourself a year to heal from brain surgeries- which puts me at August. So by September, I should finally feel healed. 

    The scar is healed from the surgery. My hair has grown back. I still have pain in some of the areas from the March surgery, but I'm told that's ok. And I have weird pressure in areas from the August surgery so maybe by September, I'll feel better?

    I have had a lot of people asking me questions about the Neuropace and my "cyborg brain". Since the last time I updated I was talking about my neurosurgeon arguing with somebody about it not being an elective surgery. They aren't scheduling elective surgeries during COVID. We were worried that I wasn't going to get it after all- after all of tests and everything that we had done to get it, they were trying to tell us no.  It was approved though, and I had the surgery in August. 

    I think a lot of people expected it to stop the seizures right away. (Which would be amazing!) But it's not quite that simple. Which seems to be what the questions are about. The device is basically learning the way the brain works, and learning the ways my seizures happen, and as it learns these things, it learns how to stop them. We are trying to find my trigger(s). So far, we can't seem to figure anything out. Each time I go to the doctor, they make adjustments to the device as necessary, and eventually, we will (hopefully) be able to say this thing is stopping my seizures before they start. And maybe I will get the reduce my medications as well.

    I went through January without any real seizure activity, and then February my brain decided to throw a party again, and now here I am. I am still having seizures. Just this morning, I had a typical spill coffee on my lap kind of seizure. BUT the "seizure hangovers" are no longer there. Before the Neuropace, I would have to sleep off the headaches caused by seizures and rest for the whole day if not for the day after as well. And now I have a seizure and can just go on with my day. So, yes, I am having seizures, but there is already some kind of improvement in my day to day life and that is wonderful.